this I believe

For my english class we had to write a paper on what we believe. I found writing this paper to truly be a journey of self discovery and it really opened my eyes to a lot of things I was not even aware about myself. Reading it in front of the class was especially powerful because of the fact that I hardly ever open up to my close friends about my past, yet alone a classroom full of people I only just met a couple of months ago. It was also extrmely moving to hear some of the stories of other people in my class.
Anyways, I just thought I would share the beginning and conclusion of the paper since the entire paper is 5 pages and who honestly wants to read 5 pages?

As a young child, I saw my mother as the most amazing woman in the world. She was strong, beautiful, and capable of anything; I wanted to be just like her. As I got older, I began realizing that other people did not see my mother in the same light I did. When she pulled out her “special colorful money” at the grocery store I began seeing looks of pity and disgust. They were looking at my mother like she had done something wrong; like her special money was not a “blessing from God” as she had called it, but instead something evil. I began hearing people use words like “welfare,” whisper things like “she shouldn’t have even had kids,” and yell things like “get a job!” It wasn’t long before people in our church also started talking about this “welfare” and how wrong it was. They couldn’t even look my mother in the eye. None of it made sense to me. My mother was caring, loving, and kind and yet I seemed to be the only person in the world who saw her in this light.
As an adult I now realize that I was seeing my mother the way that God sees her, I was looking at her heart and nothing else. I believe that a person’s heart reveals who they truly are. The heart represents what a person really thinks and believes about anything. The heart of a person "is that person” for it defines who we are by excluding personality issues or outward appearance. The heart is what a person truly is, not what a person appears to be. The heart reveals to us the sum of who a person is once all the masks and outer wraps are pulled off. Thus, when I look at the heart of a mother on welfare I do not see them as “lazy” or “helpless” because that would simply be judging them based on outward appearances. Instead, I see them as determined and simply trying to do what is best for their family. I do not see them as “weak” but instead as stronger than I will ever be, strengthened by many trying circumstances and multiple heart breaks. In the same way, when I look at a prostitute I do not look at them with disgust or see them as simply a “prostitute” but instead as a woman who has been through unimaginable pain, a woman like Gomer whom God loved with all of His heart. Similarly, when I look at a drug addict or an alcoholic I do not see a vile person but, instead, I see my dad. I see someone who is hurting and has a deep void in their life which they are desperately trying to fill with things of this world.

It is my ultimate wish that we could all only see people’s inner beauty. I often wonder how different our world would be if those who are normally considered “ugly” or “evil” were considered to be beautiful and righteous because of whom they were on the inside. I also wonder how different many of the “successful” and respected people of our day would look if we could only see them for who they truly were. I find this wish of mine being constantly crushed, however, by a society which suggests that we are already capable of seeing who a person truly is simply by looking at their appearance or their actions. My dreams are crushed by a society which tells me that there is no true purpose in looking at the hearts of prostitutes or a drug addicts because there is essentially nothing to look at.
Even so, my belief does not die down because I remember that I was once able to see the heart of a drug addict and the heart of a mother on welfare. I was once able to see that a drug addict is more than simply a drug addict and a mother on welfare is more than simply a welfare recipient for they are both living, breathing people with hearts and souls. It is because I know this and can see this that I will always know the truth; the truth that there is indeed something to look at and that something is completely beautiful.