a bit scattered

Some days I feel confident, ready for the world's challenges. I feel prepared, calm and collected. I feel like I have at least some of the answers and I'm ready to move forward. On these days my hair goes just right and I wear my nice jeans and my button up shirt.

Other days i feel more whimsical and dream of a different life. i dream of starting a revolution, changing the world. i also feel very unprepared and nothing is planned. On these days my hair is a bit crazy and i wear my flip flops and sundresses. sometimes i don't even match.

I need to find some sort of balance.

lately I've been thinking a lot about what it would be like to have a dad. well obviously I do have a dad, but what would it be like to really have a dad? To have that person who teaches you things when your younger, who you look up to as superman or a hero. The typical "over protective" father who interrogates every boy you date and tries to keep his little girl safe from all the evilness in the world. I have so many friends who have amazing relationships with their fathers. They do things with them that I find to be so foreign; go on "date nights," talk about problems, go for walks.I remember asking one of my friends in elementary school what it was like having such a "nice daddy." She said he had too many rules and then asked me if I knew that her daddy was the strongest man in the world.
I often wonder what would that be like? how different would my life be, if at all? would I view the world any differently?
I don't really think about this in a sad light, however. More just genuine curiosity about what it's like. I'm not really sure why I'm not more sad about it. Maybe I should be? I don't know.